Emotion number five.
Yeah it’s crazy, real crazy,
for me because it’s like there’s nothing I can do to fix it but then there sort of is but this eerie tiredness kicks in and stops the fix
But then do I even want to fix it, I guess I do
But then I get lost, searching for the fix,
it’s like when it’s not there then there was never a problem in the first place but when it is there there’s no way to get out,
Even though there is,
Cos there must have been times when I was there and just not noticed
And of course plenty down times before that I got out, so somewhere there is a way
And when I say crazy I mean normal, because it makes sense to think like that, I think a lot of people do, at least I know I do,
And the weirdest thing I find is when I’m feeling bad about my problems my mind makes me feel worse because my problems don’t seem like real problems at all,
But that’s good, I suppose, cos it’s a pretty real human emotion
It means were alive and that even in the darkness our souls (which just made me laugh because our souls sounds like assholes) believe in life, light.
So that means there’s nothing wrong with depression, in fact it makes it all right, it makes sense to feel bad, and it makes sense to feel bad about feeling bad,
I’ve known that sometimes it’s nice to hide, hibernate, step outside of the world, what I find great is that it’s never too late
When I came back to the world it was like I never even left.
And deep down there is no real pressure or any rush to return.
- So now I can look back and turn my experience into a story, its like taking a sad song and making it better.
Ping!
Pong!
Ting!
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this sounds precisely like I am/was experiencing. it kind of makes me feel validated in thinking that it is/was depression because the symptoms we both had/have are very similar. it is kind of reassuring knowing that I was in fact feeling like shit and that feeling has a name other than "quit being stupid and get happy."
ReplyDeleteYeah I find it reassuring to know that it seems to be a weird part of life,and that a lot of people feel the same way,
ReplyDeleteI think its just a human emotion, which is cool it shows we can feel, i might call it emotion number 5 (a bit like love potion number nine)
its weird because most of my life id been ridocously content and then suddenly a few years back i hit emotion number 5,
and it didnt leave at the end of the day it just stayed around for a long time,
but the good thing was that although a lot of people didnt really understand,
like thinking you idiot just be happy, whats the problem,
or calling it a phase i mean yeah fair enough, that is quite a good attitude when you get down to it, but it may or may not be a phase,
and sometimes its not that easy, it at least made me understand why so many people are so busy,
the good thing i found is that with a bit of effort we can turn our world around
and no matter if people thought i was crazy or strange, or didnt think about it at all,
because now they treat me the same
as if my hit of emotion number 5 never happened at all.
and thats when i fell in love with people and the world all over again because everything was all cool.
I guess its made me more open about being honest, and also sharing, like right now, which is a good thing, reassurings All Right.
I think the thing i learnt for me personally from my experience is that my inner thoughts just reminded me to relax really, take it easy, as if id forgotten that,
and that in life theres no rush, which makes sense for me i dont even know what id be rushing for anyway.
Feel free to write on here, and if youd like too share some thoughts
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